Real talk, if you take my word on SaiKo-I and visit and you aren’t impressed, then you know what – I’ll be the first to say that you are SOY wrong, because if you can’t ROLL with this, then you of-FISH-ally don’t know good sushi – because the dishes here make MISO happy. If you don’t agree, then you can SAKI it.

One bite of the Salmon Carpaccio, and you’ll be HOOKED – unlike how you feel about this corny blog post right now which is displaying my lamest puns ever. Sorry. My brain is elsewhere fantasizing about how this cut of fish truly melted in my mouth. Served with truffle oil, wasabi yuzu and fried garlic, this dish (which can be ordered with sea scallop, wahoo, fluke or yellowtail, was a crowd favorite, and only began to prepare us for the delicacies we were about to experience.)

GYOZA-VELT!!! (Ok that was one last pun-ny attempt to make a play on “Oy Gevult”) – Which in my native tongue of Yiddush means, “OH GOD!” – because this dish will have you making some form of exclamation. The Spicy Tuna Goyza is definitely NOT the goyza that you get from your local takeout place. This dish is expertly crafted with a lightly fried crispy tuna gyoza, guacamole, and thai chili aioli. Now say it with me again: OY GOYZA-VELT!

When it comes to sexiness, Instagram models ain’t got nothing on SaiKo-I’s Sexy Lady Roll. Rice-free, this femme fatale boasts spicy tuna and tempura flakes, wrapped with avocado, tuna salmon, white fish and mango salsa. One taste and this Sexy Lady will easily get the most likes, without having to use a filter.

People who go to a Japanese restaurant and don’t order some form of noodles annoy me even more than people who hum while walking down the aisles of a grocery food store. If you are one of those people who doesn’t understand the value of a stir fry noodle, then try SaiKo-I’s pad thai, and your life will be forever changed. Although the menu description doesn’t deviate from the norm – rice noodle, egg, bean sprout, scallion, peanut sautéed in pad thai sauce – the end result does, because the chefs use the finest ingredients to work their magic and give you a pad thai that just like my Philadelphia Eagles, comes in first place. I said it.

As a typical millennial, I am a text-only kind of gal, and if someone calls my cell, they can expect to go straight to voicemail, because actual human interaction is terrifying and unnecessary. But when Chilean Sea Bass calls my name, I always answer. This flaky white fish truly melts in  your mouth and is served with an array of veggies in a special housemade xo sauce. With decadent bite, you’ll become more and more hooked – this one is a true “catch.” (Ok, that was the final Dad Joke of this blog – but this is what happens when you’re so engrossed in your meal that your brain can only function enough to resort to the pun life)

Dress and glasses from Forever 21

Above is actual footage of the face that I make when you decide to not take my recommendation on this restaurant. Side-eye city. Like I stated before, just roll with it, and you’ll thank yourself for being Fashionably (Stir) Fried for the night!

***I received complimentary noms in exchange for this post, however, you cannot bribe me with food, so all opinions are my own.