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The Brunch Bulge is Real

The Brunch Bulge is Real

Food & People

Welcome to Fashionably French Fried, and my first official blog post! If you didn’t take the time to read the “About Jilly” section, here’s a quick recap:
I’m Jilly From Philly, a sassy foodie and fashionista who is going to be bringing you food and fashion in a way you’ve never seen it before! Get ready to laugh in style while our bellies stay full and happy!

So for my first blog post, I wanted to talk about the realness of the brunch bulge. Brunch. That incredible meal we wait for all week while slaving away at our desks, trying to be good with our quinoa kale tofu whatevers from Fresh Market that cost us more than a tank of gas. Brunch. That last hoorah on a Sunday that leaves us just hungover enough on a Monday morning to give the boss the “traffic” excuse when we roll in at 9:15am. Brunch. My sweet, sacred meal full of Bloody Marys, Mimosas, Benedicts, homefries, doughnuts and pure unadulterated happiness.

This particular brunch I went with my favorite cousins to Juniper on the Water in Hallandale Beach. They spend pretty much every meal there, so walking in, the management does pretty much everything save for rolling out a red carpet. We walked past a drunken party of girls dancing to the salsa music (yes, already at noon they were achieving my life goals for the day, like total freaking rockstars) to the table that the owners had saved for us right on the water. (“oh, so that why it’s called Juniper on the Water”, they all exclaimed…)

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We got right to the Mimosas, and because Sundays go quickly, no one has time to mess around and they brought us a full bottle of champagne to pour at our own leisure. My kinda establishment, people. I couldn’t quite decide what to order since everything looked so good, so I went for something that I wouldn’t normally get, Shrimp and Grits. And of course anyone who knows me knows I have to add French fries to anything I order, whether it be salad or pasta. Heck sometimes I’ll even order the burger and fries, with an order of cheese fries to start, because #YOLO, always. So I got an order of their deliciously delicious truffle fries.

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The Shrimp and Grits had a beautiful presentation and was served with creamy polenta, crispy bacon, chives and gravy. The portion of polenta was so large that even I couldn’t finish it (or maybe it was the addition of the perfectly cooked and seasoned truffle fries that did me in). I was about 4 or 5 mimosas in but my palette stays sober enough to know amazing quality food when I shove it down my piehole.

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My cousin Annie got the Juniper Eggs Benedict which comes with Canadian bacon, poached eggs, and citrus hollandaise and is served on a polenta cake with grilled asparagus. Not only does it make a killer #foodporn Instagram post, but it tasted legit too.

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Oh brunch. It’s all fun and games until you realize that you decided to wear a crop top because when you woke up, you were dehydrated from last night’s drinking and looked so super skinny that you just had to show off your purged water weight abs. Look at the shame in my face. I can’t even look at the camera. But here’s the thing. Brunch bulge. It gets the best of all of us. No one comes to brunch to order 2 egg whites. We’re all in this indulgence together. Brunch bulge will happen and I say embrace it! Life is too short not to indulge on a Sunday!

But for those who don’t want to make the mistake of wearing a crop top and don’t want to spend your meal watching your stomach expand like a water balloon, here are my top 5 things you can wear to disguise brunch bulge:

  • Maxi dresses – easy to style, and they cover up everything!
  • Flared polyester pants a la the 70’s are SO IN right now, and are ultra comfy, while having a lot of give.
  • High waisted skirts. Pick one that is flowy or has a lot of layers and sits about 2 inches above your belly button.
  • Rompers – another comfortable choice that hides many misgivings.
  • Tunics and ponchos – pair with leggings, which also have some give.

So as some famous person said, “Let them eat brunch!” Go about your foodiness my foodies! Drink that 6th Mimosa! Get extra hollaindaise on that Benedict! Pick off your friends’ plates (except me. Don’t ever pick off my plate, especially if it’s French fries). And do it all in style!

P.S. For those wondering, my top is Design Lab by Lord & Taylor. A super cute choice for non brunch days. White jean shorts by Tinsel. Black Gladiators from Target. Wrap watch by La Mer Collection. Shades by Urban Outfitter.

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